Politics As Usual: SLOGANS for the OCCASION

WORDPLAY post #153 
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January 2019. 

SONGLINK: Readers interested in this topic might also enjoy Giorgio's songs as found on these posts on his lyrics blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE"...

 #193: "Get Me Roger Stone - the song"  
 #182: "Anagram-Lyrics for the Fourth of July"
 #180 "The Ballad of Rudy Giuliani, part #2"
 #179 "The Ballad of Rudy Giuliani, part #1"

 #178 "Indiana Song"

 #175 "Rosenstein"

 #173 "Brennan's Tweet"

 #169 "Dark Schemes (Russian Hacking)"
 #158 "First Year on the Range"

EXPLANATION: Little is needed, but readers craving more discussion might be enlightened by George Will's recent column, which I read in this morning's paper, to be found here. 

Be sure to review the poems found in the lower portion of this blogpost. 

SLOGANS for the OCCASION

ANTAGONIZING ALLIES:

MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN



PREVENTING CALIFORNIA WILDFIRES:

RAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN


PREPARING THE U.S. FOR THE EVENTUAL CLIMATE CRISIS:

BAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

DEALING WITH EXCESSIVE CANADIAN DAIRY IMPORTS:

MAKE AMERICAN  SHAKES AGAIN


ANOTHER RUN AT FUNDING A SEA-TO-SEA SOUTHERN WALL:

MEX-AMERICAN STAKES AGAIN


ON REJUVENATED MALE HAIRDOS:

FAKE AMERICA'S PATE AGAIN


CONFRONTING RIGHTS FOR LGBT MINORITIES:

MAKE AMERICA  STRAIGHT AGAIN


THE ONGOING BATTLE WITH U.S. INTELLIGENCE SERVICES:

BREAK AMERICA'S 'DEEP STATE' AGAIN


Dancin' to the 'GOLDEN OLDIES':

MAKE AMERICA GYRATE AGAIN 

Lyrics for a Homage to Pierre Berton and ABBA: "CANOE, CANOE, CANOE, CANOE, CANOE"

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do", ABBA, 1975.

PARODY COMPOSED:  Giorgio Coniglio, March 2013.

"A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe", Pierre Berton, eminent Canadian journalist, editor, historian and author.

CANOEING LESSON

(to the tune of "I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do")

Intro: 

Need a location, eh? Lakeside assignation?

Space for two:

Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.

You’ll use the J-stroke, to steer straight; and for gay-folk

Take a crew;

Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.

Best pick a partner like Twiggy, but short;

Bow to discomfort if trapped ’neath the thwart.

Put down your paddle, when you climb in the saddle.
’musez-vous !
Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.

Wear your preserver, ’cause things might get rude,

If Mounties spot-check, and you’re in the nude.

Don’t lean on the gunwale, should you enter a tunnel;

This tip’s true:

Canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe, canoe.

Pierre Berton coined it our iconic boat,

Control paroxysms, you’re certain to float.

Get with your tête-à-tête, and not get quite soaking wet,

C’est beau !

Canot, canot, canot, canot, canot.

One final pointer:  l’avant-canotage –

Don’t flirt with fore-play pendant le portage.

There’s no better bateau built for Anglo- or Franco –

Vous et nous;

Canoe, canot, Canuck, canot, canoe.
 

HOTLINKS TO OTHER CANADIAN-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS

An Alien Heading South

Big Rob Rehab Clinic

Canadian Reunion

Canoeing Lesson (see below)

I've Got Anagrams, Eh?

Flight of the Loonie

FOP-Shop Wine

Mergerwocky

Off-Patent Drug #19

Prattle of New Orleans

Suburbs' Guy

The Maple Leaf Ad Infinitum 

This Land Has Anagrams (see below)

TTC Voices

Vancouver's Isle

..AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS

Shania Twain's "Verse": An anthem for limericists

Canada Day 2015 (singable limericks)

Limericks About Chemainus, B.C.

Enthralling WORDPLAY Jan '19

WORDPLAY post #151 (sneak preview in the collection "The Ten Posts of Christmas" - see Dec 10th through Jan 11th)
Periodic postings of palindromes, Scramble-Town Maps (creative cartography), binomial phrases, occasional verse, etc. 

SONGLINK: For those readers who like poetry set to music: You can find lots of singable limerick-medleys and other spoofs on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE", such as this recent post. 

HOT LINK to NEW WORLD PALINDROMES - complete series

HOT LINKS to collections of Classic/Goofy Palindromes #1,#2,#3

Review the entire collection of anagram-town names (based on 

P-A-L-I-N-D-R-O-M-E-S) here.

KERMIT VERSE: Limericks about AMPHIBIANS

WORDPLAY post #150                   

SATIRE COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio (registered pseudonym) and Dr. GH, September 2018. Today's poems have mostly been published (a few are still under review) at OEDILF.com, an online humor dictionary that has accumulated 100,000 carefully edited limericks. 
PHOTOS: Unless otherwise noted (by pale blue acknowledgment plaques), embedded photographs were taken with and transferred from Giorgio's cellphone. Following submission of the poems to OEDILF, the slides collages we present here were formatted using Powerpoint software on a vintage 2000-era PC computer. No photographic subjects were reimbursed for participating in this undertaking, and OEDILF has no involvement in the pictorial portion of this presentation. 


By the way, to find more verses, or any other search target on either of these 2 blogs, use the SEARCH-FUNCTION found at the top of the right-hand margin.

Authors' Note:    In the Canadian province of Ontario we have only two species of toad, apparently -- the American toad, Anaxyrus americanus, and the closely related Fowler's toad. There are also some 10 species of 'true' frog.

  The author had initially given excessive credence to the differentiating rule that states, "if something hops, it's a toad, but if it leaps, it's a frog." The creature in question was apparently under great pressure to reach the Great Lakes beach.

Authors' Note:  crapaud (KRA-poh, Caribbean pronunciation), derived from the

French word for ‘toad’ (kra-POH).

At one time widely distributed in the eastern Caribbean, the large edible frog, Leptodactylus fallax, is now found only on parts of the islands of Montserrat and Dominica. Hunted extensively for its meaty froglegs, once the national delicacy of Dominica, this defenceless animal has been known by many different and colorful names, reflecting the English, Dominican Creole French, and patois spoken by local residents. Although hunting has been banned on Dominica since the 1990s, the crapaud remains on the list of severely endangered species.   

Learn more about Leptodactylus fallax at Wikipedia here. 

Read more about the disastrous global effects of consumption of frogs as human food here.

Authors' Note:   The southern toad is found in all of the southern US states except Tennessee, particularly in areas nearer to the coasts. Cranial crests giving rise to skin knobs between the eyes are found most prominently in creatures in the extreme southerly parts of their range, giving rise to the term 'horny toad'; there is no relationship of these paired growths to bony horns found in mammals, or to sexual function. During the summer, high-pitched trilling from congregated males can be near-deafening in low-lying marshy areas where the amphibians breed, and females are duly attracted. Each mating results in thousands of toadlets. 

DIRECTION FOR WEB-TRAVELLERS: 

To resume daily titillations on our blog 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense', click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 to the present. (As of September 2022, there are 1000 entries available on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on 'Edifying Nonsense' in topic-based collections.)

BECKY'S LIST

GENERAL:

Almost all these words are pronounced in a predictable way (there are many rules; don't worry too much about them). Use the examples, and try to pronounce them as if you were Maurice Chevalier .

1. Always accent the last syllable in the word, even if that isn't the way it's done in the similar English word, e.g. NaTIONS UnIES, autoBUS, immiGRANT. 
2. In Parisian, e-  at the end of a major word is pretty much obliterated. 'e' at the end of one-syllable words becomes a schwa-sound, as in the English 'put', e.g. le, de, se, que.
3.  Usually, you DON'T pronounce the final consonant (or any 'h', or 'u' after ''q' or 'gu').
DO pronounce the final consonant in... words ending with c,r,f,l,q ('careful q') *, 
 ... near-final consonants followed by an e or (e+ the plural 's'), e.g. la plante, Jardin des Plantes  
* Note a third of the final 'r's are silent, and a few others for 'c' and 'l' .

4) The most weird VOWEL sound is 'i'. By itself, it's pretty reliable - it is itself always pronounced like the 'i' in poutine - sardine, Nice, film, Simone;
but when 'in' or 'im' is at the end of a word,  or at the end of a syllable, it becomes 'ehn' as in le vin, also Rodin, saint, invention, imposition; and -ien seems to have taken over the same role e.g. bien (BYEHn), rien, Canadien. Also the diphthong 'oi' is pronounced 'wa' as in moi, mois, trois etc. And, the 'ti' sound in '-tion' word endings is pronounced as if the 't' had been converted to 'ss'. Nation rhymes with passion.

EXCEPTIONS: 

1a) weird: femme, oignon, 
1b) pronounced final consonant: six, dix, sept, huit, Aix, Brest, sens, correct, exact, est,  ouest, sud (directions), mars, aout (months)
1c) Final consonants NOT pronounced despite 'careful q rule' blanc, le banc, , le porc, la clef, le cerf(deer) cul, gentil, travail, parler, chevalier, sommelier, janvier 
-occasionally 's' in the middle of a word is NOT pronounced - René Levesque

2) As a word ending in ille is usually pronounced like the consonant 'Y'.
e.g. fille (daughter), Marseille, Versailles, ratatouille, le Bastille.
exceptions: ville (city), mille (thousand), Lille.

3) Silent 's', before a vowel (or muted 'h' is ELIDED as a z-sound. e.g. vous êtes (voo-ZEHT), mes amis (may-za-MEE), les enfants (lay-ashn-FAHn), les États Unis (lay zay-TA zu-NEE) 

EXAMPLES (that more or less follow the rules):

Gil: Je suis heureux (content). Becky: Je suis heureuse (contente)
Gil: Je suis Canadien. Becky: Je suis Canadienne.

bon; mauvais
bien; mal
bonjour
bonsoir
attaché
après-midi
bonjour
bonne nuit
bourgeois
Bourguignon (boeuf)
ça va
aubergine
baguette
couture
cuisine
déjà vu
école
baba au rhum
cassoulet
Châteauneuf-du-Pape 
chic
collage
confit
croissant
escargot
esprit de corps
foie gras
gouache
hôtel
Iroquois
jeu-de-mot
les Ballets Russes
ménage-à-trois 
mille-feuilles
montage
moules
panache
pâté 
poisson
pomme de terre
quiche
ragoût
sauter = sauté
sardine
sauce
Sauvignon
silhouette
soufflé
soupe
suave
taxi
vichysoisse
l'Alliance Française
la vie en rose

pommes frites
sac-à-dos
suave
tête-à-tête
rendez-vous 
le bureau
l'armée; la marine


la Seine
le métro
Denfert
Notre-Dame
Sainte-Chapelle
l'Île de la Cité
Le Marais 
St-Martin
le Louvre
Place de la République
le Quai d'Orsée
le Marmatton
Montmartre
Pigalle
les Invalides
le Jardin du Luxembourg
le bois de Boulogne
le Champs-Élysées
l'Arc de Triomphe
Marie Antoinette
Honoré de Balzac
Jacques Brel
Jean Charest
Maurice Chevalier
Jean Chrétien
Marie Curie
René Descartes
Raoul Dufy
Anatole France
Henri Matisse
Louis quatorze
Philippe Pétain
Georges Pompidou
le marquis de Sade
Georges Seurat
Voltaire (Jean-Marie Arouet)
Émile Zola

all the -au-s , and some other 'o' combinations are pronounced 'oh!'
Paul Gauguin
Paul Cézanne
Gabriel Fauré
Pierre-Auguste Renoir
Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec
"Les Deux Magots"
Marcel Marceau
Claude Monet
Henri Rousseau
Jean-Paul Sartre
Pierre Trudeau
François Truffaut 



Arles
Avignon
Bordeaux
la Camargue
le Canada
Cagnes
Cannes
Chamonix
la Champagne
Dijon
la France
Giverny
Grenoble
Limoges
la Loire
le Louvre
Lyon
Maresches
Marseille
Neuchatel
Nice
Normandie
Orly

Pau
Provence
St-Germain-des-Prés
St-Tropez 
la Suisse
Toulouse
Trois-Rivières
Versailles