Monday, 20 December 2021

Singable Satire: MEXICAN UKE-SONG

 


CLOTHING MOTH HAT-DANCE 

(to the tune of "Mexican Hat Dance" with adaptation and 'original' lyrics by Alan Sherman)


Clothing moths, we are not like the fruit fly
(We admit with orange eyes they're a cute fly)
We shun froth, just ask any astute fly,
We eat sweaters and shirts, even hats.

Can't stand fruit, we eat dry, suits us better,
Like your suits; we don't fancy things wetter.
And we love old skin flakes from a shedder,
Like that guy who wears Mexican hats. Olé! 

We can't stand foam or froth.
Our favorite food's 'whole cloth'.
The hats and suits you doff
Are a family meal for the moth.

As adults we don't need feed our offspring. 
We just mate, and do things of that ilk.
Don't fly much, legs we lay,
Larvae hatch, and then they
Ravage cotton and woollens and silk.

Clothing moths! Live like toffs.
We're just snobs - Tineolas,
We play our violas,
While your old sombreros we doff.

Feel voracious? Please look you old meany
We're your dinner guests though we're quite teeny,
We'll infest your old box of 'linguini'.
But don't like your rendition of 'sauce'.  

REPRISE:
We can't stand foam or froth.
Our favorite food's 'whole cloth'.
The hats and suits you doff
Are a family meal for the moth.

Now in closing...  your sweaters are tatters,
The scraps literally filled up our platters.
We're engorged on keratinous matter.
Like your silk and wool suits
(We've ignored leather boots),
Left large holes in chapeaux made of cloth.
That's the work of the quirky clothes moth. Olé



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Wednesday, 15 December 2021

Reversing Verse: Limericks about CLASSIC PALINDROMES #5


 This post provides a continuation of previous wordplay collections displayed on December 5, 2020January 5, 2021, February 5, 2021, and March 10, 2021. In those earlier posts, classic palindromes (phrases and sentences whose letters are ordered identically when they are read either forwards or backwards) were described and extolled in verse; the topics of discussion, eight in each post, were as follows: 
1. Dennis sinned            
2. Drawn onward
3Gnu dung
4. Yreka bakery
5. Lonely Tylenol
6. UFO tofu
7. Too hot to hoot
8. Never odd or even 
-------------------------
9. Sex at noon taxes
10No 'X' in Nixon.
11. A Santa at NASA
12. T. Eliot's toilet
13. Madam, I'm Adam
14. Sex of foxes
15. Able ere Elba
16. A Toyota's a Toyota
--------------------------
17. Mr. Owl ate my metal worm
18. Emil's lime
19. Critique of palindromes, To idiot: 
20. A dim or fond 'No!' from Ida
21. No lemon, no melon (fruitless)
22. 'Contrived' (saw- and see- lines)
23. Flee to me, remote elf
24. No sir, prison (Roger Stone) 
---------------------------------------
25. Zeus sees Suez (canals)
26. Step on no pets  
27. Do geese see God?  
28. No 'D'; No 'L' -- London (negation)
29. Dogma? I am God
30. Mix a maxim
31. Egad! no bondage
32. Go hang a salami..... 
----------------------------------------


CURRENT CONTENTS

Please note that, continuing the convention adopted in the previous posts, there will be an exclusive correlation between green italicized font and palindromes. But not all of the palindromes displayed within the verses' lines are in the 'classic repertoire'. Some are recent concoctions by the author. 

33. Racecar
34. No left felon 
35. A man, a plan, a canal -- Panama
36. The Dacha: palindrome-enhanced American satire, a brief saga
37. Leigh Mercer's Palindrome Workshop, a brief saga


Authors' Note: Embedded within the verse are eight palindromic phrases, each in italics and green font, separated from each other by semicolons.

   This perseverating nonsense may be partly explained by the author having driven a 2002 Toyota Camry as his only automobile since 2009. That no car can compete for efficiency, value and longevity is embodied in the classic palindromic phrase A Toyota's a Toyota (see the linked previous post for further discussion.)  


Authors' Note: Apparently a few felons are politicians, and vice versa.











But, there are also more versified classic palindromes to review. Proceed to the next collection and view classic spoofs on the IPP (Iconic Panama Palindrome) HERE ! 


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Friday, 10 December 2021

Breaking News: FUNNY BONES, fragment #2

This blogpost represents a continuation of an earlier post, entitled (not surprisingly) "Funny Bones, fragment #1". Click HERE to review that background information.



Authors' Note: Modern orthopedic treatment of displaced limb fractures often attains the aims of stability and appropriate alignment through the surgical technique of internal fixation. Injured limbs have then undergone the dual trauma of both the original injury and the surgical correction. But, with all the parts back in place and correctly aligned, the patient can work with a physiotherapist to regain range-of-motion, muscle agility and strength. 




Authors' Note:  Stress fractures are injuries caused by repeated undue physical stress applied to normal bone. These injuries, sometimes called march fractures, are common in the midshafts of the bones of the forefoot, particularly metatarsals #2 through #4. They characteristically occur in military recruits and in athletic individuals with heavy training schedules, but also may show up in otherwise unremarkable individuals who have recently increased their level of physical activity. Fortunately, healing is usual in those prepared to reduce activities for a number of weeks.
    To read more about this important topic, check the online medical periodical Bone Bloggers: Opinion by Orthopedic Surgeons.


Authors' Note:  In fact, Syd has the right idea. Current therapy for the Jones fracture (which occurs due to repeated twisting stress in dancers and tennis or basketball players) includes surgical placement of a screw that binds the two fragments, to eliminate the possibility of bone non-union that complicated earlier forms of treatment. In cases where surgery is not selected, treatment usually consists of an external cast and avoidance of weight-bearing for six weeks. 


Authors' Note: 

crank: an unpleasant person who has difficulty with anger control

ORIF: acronym for surgical intervention for bone fractures — open reduction, internal fixation

plain films: medical jargon for two-dimensional x-ray studies, as opposed to CT, although digital media, not 'film' emulsion, are now generally used to analyze and record the images

With these injuries that involve one or more fractures, metatarsal bones of the lower foot are dissociated from the tarsus, making the mid-foot unstable. They were first observed in cavalry men during the Napoleonic Wars and later described by a French surgeon, Jacques Lisfranc de St-Martin. In English medical jargon they are known as Lisfranc (LIZ-frank or liz-FRANK) fractures. Self-diagnosis of this type of injury by a patient would be an unusual event




Authors' Note: 

 post op: medical jargon for 'post-operative' or 'post-operatively’.

   Costs incurred by surgical care in the United States can be devastating. It is, however, unusual for bankers to be consulted directly re the affordability of urgent surgical procedures. 

  Multiple pelvic fractures involving the sacrum and/or pubic rami may accompany major trauma to the lower trunk. These can often be managed conservatively, but instability may mandate surgical fixation.   



                                                                            final approval #120852, May 2023

Authors' Note: Owing to impairment of blood flow, fracture of the femoral neck, a risk for active seniors, may result in the subsequent need for hip replacement. The most common cause for hip-joint replacement, however, remains osteoarthritis.







Authors' Note: The femoral head is the proximal portion of the femur (thigh bone) within the capsule of the hip joint. The blood supply to this area is fragile, and its blockage, presumably due to a variety of disease processes (often poorly understood or not obvious), can result in death of bone cells and collapse of this weight-bearing structure. Replacement of the hip joint may eventually be needed. 

  Orthopedic surgeons (surgical bone specialists), known in medical jargon as orthopods, are involved in monitoring and treating the condition.  






Authors' Note:

Osteopenia (ost-ee-oh-PEE-nee-yah), or reduced bone mass as suggested on regular x-ray studies, is a 'washed out' appearance raising the question of whether the patient has osteoporosis, a significant loss of bone mineral resulting in increased fracture risk. The word break in osteopenia (osteo, Latin root for ‘bone’) at the end of the first line is a reminder of its association with fracture. The DEXA test evaluates the mass of bone reproducibly, and, in the context of age and gender, helps decide on the necessity of drug treatment to prevent 'fragility fractures'. 
You can read more about the DEXA test for bone mineral density (BMD) HERE.



Author's Note: Hip replacement has become a surgical procedure that is frequently performed in humans, and is making inroads into veterinary practice in dogs and cats. Its role in jungle creatures and zoo inhabitants remains to be developed, parenthetically

                    -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  --- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- 


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Sunday, 5 December 2021

Grandpa Greg's Advanced Grammar: BINOMIAL EXPRESSIONS





Authors' Note A binomial pair, phrase, or expression, is a language element consisting of a pair of words that are used in a fixed order as an idiom. The two members of the pair are the same part of speech, are semantically related, often near-synonyms or antonyms, and are most commonly joined by and, or or; they often play a role as clichés. The term irreversible binomial was coined and extensively discussed by American philologist Yakov Malkiel in 1954. The most catchy of these phrases are alliterative, as hale and hearty, or rhyming, as in health and wealth, or haste makes waste.




Authors' Note: The forty-fifth US president and his advisors seem to have come up with a scare tactic, telling voters that waves of Central American refugees appearing on the southern US border were comprised of potential rapists and drug-dealers. The 'redemption' referred to here is entry into the safe refuge of the United States.   

For binomial expressions, such as sin and redemption, there is (in normal times) a mandatory, irreversible order of the two linguistic elements.










Authors' Note:  Although 'flora' (the collection of visible plants) and 'fauna' (the collection of visible animals) may be of equal importance, and are familiar to most readers, they seem to be listed preferentially in English dictionaries and encyclopedia in the order shown above.

The above verse highlights the importance of the microbiota, a group of creatures that have flown generally under the radar, the limits of human perception having previously shaped understanding of the range of life on our planet. This underappreciated group of organisms includes bacteria, fungi, viruses and others, that teem in and on our bodies and those of all other creatures, in the soil, and even in apparently difficult or hostile environments.     




Authors' Note The concept of fossil words derives from the fact that dozens of obsolete and obscure words, e.g. betwixt, retain currency only as a part of idioms whose use has continued into modern times. More examples of fossil words retained in some binomial expressions are given in the verse hem and haw.



Authors' NoteThe rhyming binomial phrase, stoop and scoop, sometimes given as 'poop and scoop', describes a group activity by pet-owners.
See also the author's poem "dog park" in the collection "Urban Concerns". 

 


Authors' NoteBirds and bees is an alliterative binomial phrase used here in a euphemistic sense.  The counterintuitive fact that MENses are a female function could make this poem a companion-piece to the authors' verse on gender-neutral language.      



Authors' Note:   The astute reader might realize that 'whence, wherefore and whither' is a TRInomial phrase, a less common entity.  



Authors' NoteThe above verse features a number of binomial expressions, most of which are in common use. As part of their catchy appeal, binomial phrases are often used as the names of restaurants, bars and small businesses, but the name proposed here for a strip-club is original.  





Authors' Note:  'Floaters', in the eye, a common symptom may require expert medical attention when they first appear or become more numerous. Most often, they are insignificant and chronic. Jill might be surprised to learn that they are not caused by accumulation of discrete floating particles, e.g. jetsam, but are rather an effect attributed to fibrous strands traversing the vitreous (posterior) chamber of the eye.

Flotsam and jetsam is an intriguing binomial phrase. The original meaning of its two components is explained in a verse by OEDILFian contributor Kevin Lucas. 







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