Monday 20 December 2021

Singable Satire: MEXICAN UKE-SONG

 


CLOTHING MOTH HAT-DANCE 

(to the tune of "Mexican Hat Dance" with adaptation and 'original' lyrics by Alan Sherman)


Clothing moths, we are not like the fruit fly
(We admit with orange eyes they're a cute fly)
We shun froth, just ask any astute fly,
We eat sweaters and shirts, even hats.

Can't stand fruit, we eat dry, suits us better,
Like your suits; we don't fancy things wetter.
And we love old skin flakes from a shedder,
Like that guy who wears Mexican hats. Olé! 

We can't stand foam or froth.
Our favorite food's 'whole cloth'.
The hats and suits you doff
Are a family meal for the moth.

As adults we don't need feed our offspring. 
We just mate, and do things of that ilk.
Don't fly much, legs we lay,
Larvae hatch, and then they
Ravage cotton and woollens and silk.

Clothing moths! Live like toffs.
We're just snobs - Tineolas,
We play our violas,
While your old sombreros we doff.

Feel voracious? Please look you old meany
We're your dinner guests though we're quite teeny,
We'll infest your old box of 'linguini'.
But don't like your rendition of 'sauce'.  

REPRISE:
We can't stand foam or froth.
Our favorite food's 'whole cloth'.
The hats and suits you doff
Are a family meal for the moth.

Now in closing...  your sweaters are tatters,
The scraps literally filled up our platters.
We're engorged on keratinous matter.
Like your silk and wool suits
(We've ignored leather boots),
Left large holes in chapeaux made of cloth.
That's the work of the quirky clothes moth. Olé



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Wednesday 15 December 2021

Reversing Verse: Limericks about CLASSIC PALINDROMES #5


 This post provides a continuation of previous wordplay collections displayed on December 5, 2020January 5, 2021, February 5, 2021, and March 10, 2021. In those earlier posts, classic palindromes (phrases and sentences whose letters are ordered identically when they are read either forwards or backwards) were described and extolled in verse; the topics of discussion, eight in each post, were as follows: 
1. Dennis sinned            
2. Drawn onward
3Gnu dung
4. Yreka bakery
5. Lonely Tylenol
6. UFO tofu
7. Too hot to hoot
8. Never odd or even 
-------------------------
9. Sex at noon taxes
10No 'X' in Nixon.
11. A Santa at NASA
12. T. Eliot's toilet
13. Madam, I'm Adam
14. Sex of foxes
15. Able ere Elba
16. A Toyota's a Toyota
--------------------------
17. Mr. Owl ate my metal worm
18. Emil's lime
19. Critique of palindromes, To idiot: 
20. A dim or fond 'No!' from Ida
21. No lemon, no melon (fruitless)
22. 'Contrived' (saw- and see- lines)
23. Flee to me, remote elf
24. No sir, prison (Roger Stone) 
---------------------------------------
25. Zeus sees Suez (canals)
26. Step on no pets  
27. Do geese see God?  
28. No 'D'; No 'L' -- London (negation)
29. Dogma? I am God
30. Mix a maxim
31. Egad! no bondage
32. Go hang a salami..... 
----------------------------------------


CURRENT CONTENTS

Please note that, continuing the convention adopted in the previous posts, there will be an exclusive correlation between green italicized font and palindromes. But not all of the palindromes displayed within the verses' lines are in the 'classic repertoire'. Some are recent concoctions by the author. 

33. Racecar
34. No left felon 
35. A man, a plan, a canal -- Panama
36. The Dacha: palindrome-enhanced American satire, a brief saga
37. Leigh Mercer's Palindrome Workshop, a brief saga


Authors' Note: Embedded within the verse are eight palindromic phrases, each in italics and green font, separated from each other by semicolons.

   This perseverating nonsense may be partly explained by the author having driven a 2002 Toyota Camry as his only automobile since 2009. That no car can compete for efficiency, value and longevity is embodied in the classic palindromic phrase A Toyota's a Toyota (see the linked previous post for further discussion.)  


Authors' Note: Apparently a few felons are politicians, and vice versa.











But, there are also more versified classic palindromes to review. Proceed to the next collection and view classic spoofs on the IPP (Iconic Panama Palindrome) HERE ! 


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Friday 10 December 2021

Breaking News: FUNNY BONES, fragment #2

This blogpost represents a continuation of an earlier post, entitled (not surprisingly) "Funny Bones, fragment #1". 

prior posted poems (fragment #1)
background reading: "The Orthopedic Surgeon".
fractured wrist (distal radius)
scaphoid fracture
anatomic snuffbox
hook of the hamate
olecranon ("funny bone")
bone alignment
heterotopic ossification (HO)

CURRENT CONTENTS:
Metatarsal stress fracture
Jones (5th metatarsal) fracture
Lisfranc fracture
Pelvic fracture (banker's consultation)
Prosthetic hipster
AVN (avascular necrosis) of the hip
Contortionists
Enid's osteopenia
Heterotopic ossification (HO)



Authors' Note:  Stress fractures are injuries caused by repeated undue physical stress applied to normal bone. These injuries, sometimes called march fractures, are common in the midshafts of the bones of the forefoot, particularly metatarsals #2 through #4. They characteristically occur in military recruits and in athletic individuals with heavy training schedules, but also may show up in otherwise unremarkable individuals who have recently increased their level of physical activity. Fortunately, healing is usual in those prepared to reduce activities for a number of weeks.
    To read more about this important topic, check the online medical periodical Bone Bloggers: Opinion by Orthopedic Surgeons.


Authors' Note:  In fact, Syd has the right idea. Current therapy for the Jones fracture (which occurs due to repeated twisting stress in dancers and tennis or basketball players) includes surgical placement of a screw that binds the two fragments, to eliminate the possibility of bone non-union that complicated earlier forms of treatment. In cases where surgery is not selected, treatment usually consists of an external cast and avoidance of weight-bearing for six weeks. 


Authors' Note: 

crank: an unpleasant person who has difficulty with anger control

ORIF: acronym for surgical intervention for bone fractures — open reduction, internal fixation

plain films: medical jargon for two-dimensional x-ray studies, as opposed to CT, although digital media, not 'film' emulsion, are now generally used to analyze and record the images

With these injuries that involve one or more fractures, metatarsal bones of the lower foot are dissociated from the tarsus, making the mid-foot unstable. They were first observed in cavalry men during the Napoleonic Wars and later described by a French surgeon, Jacques Lisfranc de St-Martin. In English medical jargon they are known as Lisfranc (LIZ-frank or liz-FRANK) fractures. Self-diagnosis of this type of injury by a patient would be an unusual event




Authors' Note: 

 post op: medical jargon for 'post-operative' or 'post-operatively’.

   Costs incurred by surgical care in the United States can be devastating. It is, however, unusual for bankers to be consulted directly re the affordability of urgent surgical procedures. 

  Multiple pelvic fractures involving the sacrum and/or pubic rami may accompany major trauma to the lower trunk. These can often be managed conservatively, but instability may mandate surgical fixation.   



                                                                            final approval #120852, May 2023

Authors' Note: Owing to impairment of blood flow, fracture of the femoral neck, a risk for active seniors, may result in the subsequent need for hip replacement. The most common cause for hip-joint replacement, however, remains osteoarthritis.







Authors' Note: The femoral head is the proximal portion of the femur (thigh bone) within the capsule of the hip joint. The blood supply to this area is fragile, and its blockage, presumably due to a variety of disease processes (often poorly understood or not obvious), can result in death of bone cells and collapse of this weight-bearing structure. In medical jargon, this process is known as "avascular necrosis". Replacement of the hip joint may eventually be needed. 

  Orthopedic surgeons (surgical bone specialists), known in medical jargon as orthopods, are involved in monitoring and treating the condition.  






Authors' Note:

Osteopenia (ost-ee-oh-PEE-nee-yah), or reduced bone mass as suggested on regular x-ray studies, is a 'washed out' appearance raising the question of whether the patient has osteoporosis, a significant loss of bone mineral resulting in increased fracture risk. The word break in osteopenia (osteo, Latin root for ‘bone’) at the end of the first line is a reminder of its association with fracture. The DEXA test evaluates the mass of bone reproducibly, and, in the context of age and gender, helps decide on the necessity of drug treatment to prevent 'fragility fractures'. 
You can read more about the DEXA test for bone mineral density (BMD) HERE.

                    -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  --- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- 
Here's a LIST OF LINKS to collections of intriguing poems (over 160 of these!) on medical/dental topics that can now be found on various posts. 

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Sunday 5 December 2021

Grandpa Greg's Advanced Grammar: BINOMIAL EXPRESSIONS, part #1



CURRENT CONTENTS:
Hale and hearty 
Hug and kiss
Food and drink 
First and last
Sin and redemption
Down and out
Betwixt and between
Hem and haw,
plus many others that play a supporting role in the verses






Authors' Note A binomial pair, phrase, or expression, is a language element consisting of a pair of words that are used in a fixed order as an idiom. The two members of the pair are the same part of speech, are semantically related, often near-synonyms or antonyms, and are most commonly joined by and, or or; they often play a role as clichés. The term irreversible binomial was coined and extensively discussed by American philologist Yakov Malkiel in 1954. The most catchy of these phrases are alliterative, as hale and hearty, or rhyming, as in near and dear, or haste makes waste.









 Authors' Note: Binomial expressions combine two paired elements in a fixed order. Lists of these phrases show that when the two genders are in question, males almost always come first. This bias is shown in dozens of idioms such as boys and girlslords and ladiesmen and womenbrother and sisterkings and queensJack and Jill, etc.

The few notable exceptions highlight a gender-constrained role for women, including belles and beausbride and groom, and moms and dads.

Gender-bias in language is also discussed in another verse by the authors. Click HERE




Authors' Note: The forty-fifth US president and his advisors seem to have come up with a scare tactic, telling voters that waves of Central American refugees appearing on the southern US border were comprised of potential rapists and drug-dealers. The 'redemption' referred to here is entry into the safe refuge of the United States.   

For binomial expressions, such as sin and redemption, there is (in normal times) a mandatory, irreversible order of the two linguistic elements.







Authors' Note:   The concept of fossil words derives from the fact that dozens of obsolete and obscure words, e.g. betwixt, retain currency only as a part of idioms whose use has continued into modern times. The final line of the verse refers to beck and callgoods and chattels, and hither and yon.
 
 More examples of fossil words and phrases are given in the verse hem and haw.



Authors' Note:   The astute reader might realize that "whence, wherefore and whither" (like "snug as a bug in a rug") is a TRInomial phrase, a less common entity.  


For more verses about  "Binomial Expressions", please proceed to part #2 by clicking HERE


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