Lyrics for Singable Satire: Frank Sinatra Sings "PROSTATE CANCER"

 PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Love and Marriage", 1955, Cahn and van Heusen, performed by Frank Sinatra, also Peggy Lee and Dinah Shore.
PARODY COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, January 2016.

KEYWORDS: goldenoldy, medical

Humor is likely still the best medicine, even for retired physicians.

PROSTATE CANCER 

(to the tune of “Love and Marriage”: indentations at beginnings of lines flag the syncopation.) 

Strange behavior, prostate cancer
Danger lurking down there in your pants, sir?
Age-effect? guys wondered;
So, “Yes”, you’ll have it at one hunderd.

(bridge) 

Most such tumors are just harmless 

‘Cancer in situ’ [1] 

You’ll kick can from other cause, yet 

Con...cept might befright you.

If you’ve got 10 years to squander

These are treatment outcomes you should ponder:

No spread when detected -

Five-year survival’s not affected!

(But) Certain cancers are bad actors

Younger age and bad genes are risk factors

Yet we’ve got the greatest,

For early pick-up: PSA-test [2]

(bridge) 

Try set frequency and onset;

Screen to detect’em.

Current guide adds DRE [3] - that’s

   .... Finger-up-rectum.

DRE and PSA-test

If they’re worrisome you’ll face the next step

To resolve the issue

Your doc will want to get some tissue.

Cut and cure my prostate cancer?

Ask your Uro, he’ll provide the answer.

Positive biopsy –

Might turn your life-plan turvy-topsy.    

Plan for treatment and prognosis

 That depends on what your Gleason-score [4] shows

“Six” - equivocation

You might pick watchful expectation.

(bridge)

Sigh! Why try avoid? Decide [5], if

You’ve drawn a “Seven”.

There’s no call for you to bawl

Or ....  pack bags for Heaven.

If it’s surg(e)ry, I’d subject me

To a retropubic prostatect(o)my;

Radical excision

Routine or high-tech [6] - your decision.

Kids, I’m betting on the cure–oh!

So I’m heading home to see my Uro

As I told your mother, 

“Four decades passed, they went by fast,

Four decades passed, let’s spend ano-o-other.” 

Readers are advised to inform themselves to the extent possible, and

then discuss the many issues involved with their health provider. Excellent online material is available at the American Cancer Society website. 

[1] cancer 'in place', which has not invaded locally or spread beyond the prostate gland.

[2] Prostate-Specific Antigen; a protein which leaks into the blood at a rate proportional to the activity of prostate cells; frequently used to help detect and monitor cancer. 
  

[3] Digital Rectal Examination by your urologist, or other doctor - not pleasant, but important.

[4] a measure of the abnormality in cell-type on either biopsy or surgical specimens, on a 10-point scale, based on the 2 most abnormal patterns found within the gland. 

[5] at this stage, treatment is usually recommended to eliminate all prostate tissue. Surgery is the more common choice, but various forms of radiation (external beam or implantation of radioactive beads) have also been used.

[6] recently, high-tech variants (laparoscopic and robotic surgery) have been developed, but their additional benefit is incompletely proven.  

If you want to resume daily titillations 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense', click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time-frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 and 2021. (There are now 700+ daily entries on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on 'Edifying Nonsense' in topic-based collections.)

Wordplay Maps: CHEMICAL STATES and PROVINCES

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American Satire: A TERM of ENDIREMENT #5

This post provides a follow-up to 

"AMERICAN SATIRE (A Term of Endirement) #1" (Note that this first collection of poems also gives helpful suggestions on how to SING these intriguing lyrics.)

"AMERICAN SATIRE (A Term of Endirement) #2"

"AMERICAN SATIRE (A Term of Endirement) #3"

and "AMERICAN SATIRE (A Term of Endirement) #4"

Authors' Note: 

frumpery: dowdy or old-fashioned appearance or behaviour

trumpery: attractive articles of little value or worth

This verse was written in early January, 2021, after revelation of a recorded telephone conversation involving the chief election official of the American state of Georgia, as well as lawyers on both sides, in which suggestions were made to illegally revise the previously reported state's results in the recent presidential election of November 2020. The president, in the waning few weeks of his term, had seemed consumed by concern about poorly specified fraud that might have contributed to his loss of Electoral College votes in closely contested states.

Authors' Note: 

frumpery: dowdy or old-fashioned appearance or behaviour

trumpery: attractive articles of little value or worth

This verse was written in early January, 2021, after revelation of a recorded telephone conversation involving the chief election official of the American state of Georgia, as well as lawyers on both sides, in which suggestions were made to illegally revise the previously reported state's results in the recent presidential election of November 2020. The president, in the waning few weeks of his term, had seemed consumed by concern about poorly specified fraud that might have contributed to his loss of Electoral College votes in closely contested states.

Authors' Note:  If you were going to sing a limerick, this modified 6-line verse (a 'limerrhoid'?) would be a particularly good one to sing to the tune of Gershwin's 'Anniversary Song'. Readers are invited to check out the possibilities for singing limerick verses with a variety of tunes on a blogpost on "Edifying Nonsense". Click HERE. 

PROLONGATION

The carnage continues as we move into the next term in US politics! Owing to intense demand for more verses of this type,  we have worked hard to accommodate your wishes; in fact, there is now a sequel to the original five posts, entitled "Prolongation"! So, you can view another group of these gut- and heart- wrenching poems by clicking this link !

If you have enjoyed these verses on the theme of American political satire, you might like to proceed to view other items in our collection including:

-  'Poetry and Pathos: Gun Control Verses' 

- 'The Fun-with-Impeachment Collection'

- 'a brief saga: Mar-a-Lago

- 'political palindromes A through P' (click HERE to start).

There are also some parody-song lyrics posted in 2019 and 2020, that you might like, including: 

- 'Brennan's Tweet'

- 'Rosenstein'

- 'Kooky Presidential Views' 

- 'Jailhouse Now'

- 'Vlad Putin's Blogger'

- 'Indiana Song'

- 'Get Me Roger Stone', and 

- 'The Ballad of Giuliani', part I and part II.

DIRECTION FOR WEB-TRAVELLERS: 

To resume daily titillations on our blog 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense', click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 to the present. (As of September 2022, there are 1000 entries available on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on 'Edifying Nonsense' in topic-based collections.)  

The frontier of poetry: the first ten PALINKUs

palinku

An additional point: Where do these palindromes come from?

The majority are in the 'classic repertoire' of this constrained but nonsensical form of writing. The authors are proud to report that they have apparently concocted the remainder. 

  

If you feel that you need more enlightenment about palindromes before proceeding, we have a sort of lesson entitled "POLITICAL PALINDROMES" that appears in serialized form on our other blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense". You can undertake that adventure by clicking HERE for 'slide A'.  

palinku

You can continue this astounding journey, exploring our new poetic form. Click HERE for more palinkus.

DIRECTION FOR WEB-TRAVELLERS: 

To resume daily titillations on our blog 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense', click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 to the present. (As of December 2022, there are over 1000 entries available on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on 'Edifying Nonsense' in topic-based collections.)