Lyrics for Singable Satire: HATS OFF to BORGE

 PARODY-LYRICS (a reprise from 2017)

ORIGINAL SONG: "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" 1908, Norworth and von Tilzer, as performed by Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly, spoofed by Victor Borge.

PARODY COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, September 2013. 

The second verse invokes the sort of patron with whom you sometimes have to share the cheap-seats-section of your local ballpark. This variation on the baseball-park anthem is modified by the 'traditional' earlier start of lyrics versus music (“Borge-positive version”); the less well-known opposite distortion (“Borge-negative version”) is also shown.  

SONGLINK: On our song-blog you can find the lyrics and chords for ukulele or guitar for our satire-song.  Click HERE.

TAKE OUR HATS OFF TO BORGE

(to the tune of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame")

Victor's "Clown Prince of Denmark” -

Unique musical gags;

He detached lyrics and melody - 

Spiffier spoof than an old parody.

For if you can handle the offset

The cadence will hit the mark,

Seventh In-ning home-run you’ll score

At the old ballpark.

Tickets cheap for the ballgame,

Seats right up in the clouds;

We won’t buy overpriced drinks and snacks -

Friends snuck in with a couple six-packs.

Let me hoot and jeer at the home-team;

My date’s dismayed that she came,

For it’s one, two, three beers you’re out

At the old ballgame.

(BORGE Version - Lyrics advanced):

………..   (Tickets)

Cheap for the ballgame; seats right

Up in the clouds we won’t

Buy overpriced drinks and snacks  - Friends snuck

In with a couple six-packs. Let me

Hoot and jeer at the home-team;  my date’s

Dismayed that she came, for it’s

Big crowd at Rogers Dome,
Toronto

One, two, three beers you’re out at the

Old ball-game.   xxx-xxx.

(Funky Version - Lyrics Delayed):

xxx-xxx. Tickets cheap for the

Ballgame, seats right up in
The clouds, we won’t buy drinks overpriced

And snacks - Friends snuck in with a couple

Six-packs; let me hoot and jeer at the

Home-team, my date’s dismayed that

She came, for  it’s  one, two, three beers

You’re out at the old.

……….. (ballgame).

MAY 19, birdlore: Bloor Street -- birds of a feather

Inspired by OGDEN NASH b)

 Authors' Note: The above verse represents an anapestic rehash of the story, originally told in rhyming couplets, of Ogden Nash's well-known ten-line work "The Purist". (The anapest is the basic unit of poetic meter in which each 'foot' has the pattern da-da-DA.)    

Forward Thinkers: PINKOS

Authors' Note: As pointed out by Janet McConnaughey, an OEDILF assistant editor, the term dinner, the principal meal of the day, can be used in several connotations, including assemblies of civic groups over a periodic organizational meal.

The communitarians were philosophically oriented writers arising in Britain in the 19th century, whose utopian ideas incorporated socialism, collectivism, and experimentation with communal living. Whether they had organizational meetings over meals, and the specific foods served, are unrecorded details; one imagines that most such thinkers would avoid eating meat, and would likely be vegans or vegetarians.

                                                                                   #120748, approved May 2023   

Authors' Note: Liberal thinking seized Europe towards the middle of the nineteenth century. Emboldened by the partial successes of the politically-targeted Chartists, intellectuals were drawn to idealistic social movements such as communitarianism. According to Wikipedia, John Goodwyn Barmby (1820 – 1881), one of its principals, introduced the term 'communist', based on the French le communisme and founded a revue called The Communist Chronicle. Seeking a spiritual path, he later founded the Communist Church, a sect that had congregations numbering in the teens at its peak. When the church folded in 1849, Barmby became active as a Unitarian minister.

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New Lyrics for an Old Novelty Song: THUNDER BAY (not CONSTANTINOPLE)

PARODY LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "Istanbul (not Constantinople)" a jazz-band style concoction recorded by The Four Lads in 1953. 

PARODY COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, May 2023. 

SONGLINK: On our song-blog you can find the lyrics and chords for ukulele or guitar for our parody of the original song. Click HERE.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION:

In 1930, "Istanbul" was designated as the official name of the largest city in Türkiye (Turkey), known in earlier periods as Byzantium, Byzantion, Constantinople, and primarily as Istanbul since the fall of the Byzantine empire in 1453.

In 1949, Newfoundland joined Confederation as Canada's tenth and newest province; in 2001, the Canadian Constitution was amended to revise the province's name to "Newfoundland and Labrador" (the mainland area of Labrador includes less than 5% of the province's population, but the majority of its landmass). The island of Newfoundland (NEW-found-land) is known by its inhabitants as "the Rock". 

In 1953 (the 500th anniversary of the "fall of Constantinople"), the Four Lads, a Canadian singing quartet who had moved from Toronto to the United States, acquired their first gold record with the release of the jazz-band styled "Istanbul (not Constantinople)". Other hits by this group include "Standing on the Corner" and "Moments to Remember". 

In 1970, the city of Thunder Bay, Ontario (current population about 110,000), at the western end of Lake Superior was formed by the merger of the two smaller communities of Fort William and Port Arthur.  

THUNDER BAY (not CONSTANTINOPLE)

(Intro: mid-Eastern theme, on kazoo)

"The Lakehead" was Fort William and Port Arthur
Now it's Thunder Bay, not Willi-am and Arthur
It's a wondrous town with name that's far superior --
Like Turkish delight, on a stormy night.

Every dame today, 'round Lakehead way,
Stays in Thunder Bay, not with William or with Arthur
You've a rainy date in Fort William or Port Arthur?
She'll be waiting in Thunder Bay.

Even old Newfoundland hooked up with Labrador.
Ask a Newfie, he might say,
"They thought, on the Rock, we'd like that more, eh?"

So, take me back: Fort William and Port Arthur
No, you can't go back in time, it's so much farther;
Been a long while past, since Willi-am and Arthur.
Why the name-change? Here's the crux:
It's no one's business but Canucks.

Thunder Bay. 

(kazoo, in Turkish-style melody)

Thunder Bay.

CREATIVE ANACHRONISMS

Authors' Note: 

bud: shortened form of the word buddy (friend)

Roman poets Horace and Ovid are discussed in other verses on this site.
Roget's "Thesaurus" was initially published in 1852, although it had been compiled much earlier, in 1805.

Authors' Note: The origins of the Hippocratic Oath, as discussed in the above verse, join several others by the authors under the rubric "creative anachronism". Although little is known of classic Greek office routines, there is no confirmation that clerks transcribed dictated medical reports during that epoch. One has to wait to the modern era for the invention of the typo.

Hippocrates of Kos was putatively the author of many texts (the Hippocratic Corpus) deriving from the school of medicine on his native island, one of two that thrived in Greece during its classical period. Among early descriptions of diseases, symptoms and treatments were attributed comments on the humanistic basis of medical practice that were formalized centuries later into the assertion of medical ethics and professionalism that we know today.   

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PAINTERLY POETRY

Authors' Note: 

Oise: a tributary of the Seine River, just north of Paris

Auvers-sur-Oise (oh-vayr-syoor-WAHS): village on the river Oise, in which a number of prominent 19th and 20th century painters lived

Vincent Van Gogh moved from St-Remy in the south of France to Auvers-sur-Oise to be closer to Paris and his art-dealer brother Theo. The move brought the possibility of supervision by Doctor Gachet, a friend of Cezanne and other impressionist painters. Appearing to be convalescing from his mental illness, Vincent spent 70 productive days there before his unexpected suicide. He is buried in a cemetery in the village beside his brother Theo, who died 6 months later.

 

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PILL-POPPING POEMS (selected pharmaceuticals)

Authors' Note: Simethicone (simeticone), a silicon-based product, is the active ingredient in most current over-the-counter remedies to relieve abdominal distension and gaseous bloating. With coalescence of the offending small bubbles, the gas is dispersed by flatulence and belching.

Authors' Note: 

dex: jargony abbreviation for dexamethasone, a potent glucocorticosteroid medication (med), that is used intravenously in intensive care units (ICUs) and other medical settings

septic shock: a life-threatening complication of deep or widespread infection in which blood pressure drops to a dangerous level

  During the recent pandemic (COVID-19), the use of dexamethasone to specifically counter the complications of advanced COVID-19 infection received a lot of attention in the media. 

Author's Note: Hydroxychloroquine (Plaquenil), a drug developed to combat the infectious disease malaria, was found by happenstance to be of value in suppressing certain manifestations of SLE (systemic lupus erythematosus), an inflammatory disease, and retains a niche use for that secondary purpose.

  Recently, the drug has been advocated, without convincing evidence, to treat the severe lung involvement of COVID-19 pneumonia.

AND, HERE'S A LIST OF LINKS to collections of intriguing verses on other medical/dental topics that can now be found on various posts including:

Patients and their Maladies (parts #1, #2 and #3)

The Bottom Line of Medical Humour

Funny Bones (parts #1 and #2)
Doctors and their Practices (part #1 and #2)

To Clot or Not to Clot

The Scopes of Modern Medicine

Handbook of Medical Testing Statistics

Organic Brain Poetry

Pandemic Verses

Poetry of Healthcare

STD Poetry

Diagnostic Imaging (selected topics)

Toxic Vignettes

Sleek Greek Prefixes

Ecto-Parasites

Oncology

Dental Feelings

and in 'brief sagas' including:

Drug Development

Radiation Exposure

Methylated Spirits

The Gastro-Esophageal Junction

Workplace Pollution

Food Intolerance

Fluoridation

Metabolic Delirium

Alcohol and Beriberi

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Lyrics for a Revised National Hymn: THE MAPLE LEAF ad infinitum

 

PARODY-LYRICS

ORIGINAL SONG: "The Maple Leaf Forever", by Alexander Muir, 1867

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, September 2013

PHOTOS: from GoogleImages, several derived from the wonderful blogsite TorontoThenandNow

HISTORICAL UNDERPINNINGS:

  The original song proposed Canada’s national symbol, and acted for decades as the unofficial anthem of (English) Canada; it was officially replaced in 1980 by “O Canada”. The old tree which had presumably inspired the original lyrics was destroyed by a storm in July 2013.
   As pointed out in the blog "City in the Trees", the version we sang long ago in school evoked a Canada that extended from Cape Race in the east to the Pacific. In fact, at the time Muir created the song, Newfoundland and British Columbia were separate colonies, and the new country had only 4 provinces.  
   Research into the song's historic underpinnings, as portrayed here, as well as personal experience, evolved into the nostalgic piece "Canadian School Reunion" - see my prior post highlighting this parody-song.

"Maple Cottage" Leslieville,
(now part of Toronto)
Muir's residence  

1867: A fragile line

FURTHER SONGS ON THE SAME THEME: For other nostalgic takes on Canada's national hymns, you can view (and sing along with) ...

 Canadian Reunion (December 2013) 

 Flight of the Loonie  (January 2015)

 Something to Groan About  (June 2018) 

THE MAPLE LEAF ad Infinitum

(to the tune of Alexander Muir's "Maple Leaf Forever")

In days less pure, the clan named Muir brought young Alex to these shores;

He breathed old T.O.’s Orangeman’s air, worked with skill his teaching chores.
He honored shamrock, thistle, rose, tall trees, and roots with Britain;

And second-prized our Founding Year a songsmith’s competition.

No copyright, no fleur-de-lys; of insight only traces -

His “Maple Leaf” excluded half our country’s founding races.

On days of pomp, when bands would romp from Lakes to FroBay and Sea to Sea,

The trick was to pick “God Save the Queen” from “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”.

The music-sheets for these two treats seemed equal when you scanned them;

We’d need decide in love and pride the True North’s national anthem.

Untwine the Line at Forty-Nine, les Ricains might endeavour;

Could we that fragile Line define with “Maple Leaf Forever”?

Robert Stanley Weir
 lyricist

Calixa Lavallee
 composer

St-Jean-Baptiste in Canada East resounded with Lavallée’s score;
R.Weir took on the daunting task - Theme O-Canada's breadth restore.
The over-zealed paroles part-spared, the English not so prominent,

Still women and newcomers griped, “It’s sexist and male-dominant.”

As reg'ments touted "Leaf" their tune, did Anglo journals shout and rant, 
But decades passed and "O Canada" did Muir's time-worn chant supplant.
In time for our Centennial, new flag and hymn to savour, 
Still stuck with macho lyrics and a pinch of maple flavour ! 

Last year, Muir's ancient fabled tree was felled by stormy weather;
Still sometimes heard but seldom hymned - "The Maple Leaf Forever".

Cerebral Structure and Function: BRAINCHECK

Authors' Note: 

   Korbinian Brodmann (1868–1918) was a German neurologist famous for his definition of 52 cerebral cortical areas based on their histological (tissue-architecture) characteristics. Functional correlates were defined for many of these areas, and the primary and subsidiary areas of visual interpretation are often described by their Brodmann numbers. 

   The primary visual cortex, straddling the calcarine (Latin: spur) sulcus (fissure or slit), is located on the inner surface of each cerebral hemisphere, well protected from injury.

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