) FEB 25 (2025) singable satire: 'TIPTOE PAST RIPE BERRIES'

 

  

ORIGINAL PARODY-LYRICS

MUSICAL UNDERPINNINGS:  "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" , Burke and Dubin 1929, for early talkie-film musical The Gold Diggers of Broadway, as recorded by Nick Lucas 1929, Tiny Tim 1968, et al.

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, July 2014.

PARODY-SONGLINK: To find ukulele and guitar chord-charts to help you accompany "Tiptoe Past Ripe Berries" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

innocuous unripe berries

TIPTOE PAST RIPE BERRIES

(to the tune of "Tiptoe Through The Tulips")

              

             Come...........

Tip-toe  round the messes 'neath the Johnsons' fruiting berry  tree;       

Please tiptoe past mulberries - my plea;               

They stain concrete, and the floor-mats, and our carpets; walk responsibly!

Please tip-toe past mulberries - my plea. 

       

Ripe fruit hot pavement does cook;

Bird-poo; Yuch! - Purple; just  look!  So slip your 

Shoes off at the doorstep, when you're sneaking from your girlfriend's digs

Please tiptoe past the berries - my plea, ......... and 

Tip-toe  round the messes 'neath our neighbors' over-bearing tree;

Our front sidewalk's a jam factory

Blue-stained granite and hall tile-slate, and our carpets; walk responsibly!

Please tip-toe past mulberries - my plea. 

No diff if you're slow or quick;

They'll squish; in shoe-treads they'll stick.  So slip your 

Shoes off at the doorstep, when you're sneaking home well after two....or

The rug-cleaning bill sticks with you.

   

 

) FEB 20 (2025) singable satire: 'MY BLUE SIT-ON' (boating)

 

ORIGINAL SONG: "My Blue Heaven", W. Donaldson (music), G.A.Whiting (lyrics), 1928. Performed originally by Gene Austin, covered by almost 100 other bands and soloists, from Marlene Dietrich, to Frank Sinatra,  Fats Domino and Norah Jones.

PARODY COMPOSED: Dr. G. H. and Giorgio Coniglio, 2015,(updated March 2020). You might also explore a further day's adventure by clicking 'kayak excursion' on our blog 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense'.

UKULELE and GUITAR-FRIENDLY LINK: Our whole series of songs can be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" with chord-charts and helpful performing suggestions. To find ukulele chord-charts to help you accompany "MY BLUE SIT-ON" on your favorite instrument, click HERE.

MY BLUE SIT-ON

(to the tune of "My Blue Heaven")

When scupper-holes bail

No fear to capsize!

I’m stable in my new sit-on.

She’s plump but petite,

Just measures nine feet

I’ve christened her My Blue Heaven.

I'’ll need a saddle-seat, a paddle, some repellent (-bug)

A type III vest to keep each vessel-rider snug.

Self-draining kayak,

Swift lift to roof-rack
Where I strap on My Blue Heaven.

A dolly to haul,

Don’t bring alcohol (chmmh!)
Boat-ramp to launch My Blue Heaven.

Could have a fishin’-pole, small ice-chest on a tidal ‘crick’
And she won’t swamp in wake or surf – that’s quite a trick.

Shem Creek, SC
foreground: sit-on kayak
background: trawlers

Where scupper-holes drain
Skip’s feeling no pain
Secure in his new blue sit-on.

I’ve got my cellphone in a baggy, I’m not gab-repressed
So while I’m damp and floating, I’ll 'yack-yack or text.

When my darling calls
That evening is nigh
I’ll be docking My Blue Heaven.

A neat gift for me
Just turned seventy.
I’m happy with My Blue Heaven,

Just so happy in My Blue Heaven.  

FEB 15, 2025: HERPETOLOGIC (reptilian) VERSE#3, third slither [5]

 

 This post is a continuation of the collection of poems 'REPTILES' as displayed on this blog February 15, 2023 (slither #1), and February 15, 2024 (slither #2).

previous poetic posts (Note that captions are available for versions of the poems displayed on "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" since January 2024).

(first slither): amphisbaenians, autotomy, beneficial snakes, broad-headed skinks, brown anoles.

(second slither): Carolina anoles, crocodilians, eastern glass lizards, eviction notice, fence lizards, five-lined skinks. 

CURRENT CONTENTS   (#3 -- February 15, 2025)
Geckos (on the ceiling)
Gila monsters
Going green
Herpetophobes
Leaping lizards

Authors' Note: A profusion of tiny setae (filament-hairs) on the lizards' palm-pads, as shown by electron microscopy, explain the gecko's unusual gravity-defying mobility.

Authors' Note: Gila monsters are found in southern California, Arizona and northern Mexico. They should enjoy ongoing changes in our climate.

green anole, appearing gray, climbing down fencepost

same anole, 2 minutes later

Authors' Note: 

ophidiophobia: an extreme or incapacitating fear of snakes

herpetophobia: a similar anxiety disorder extending to all reptiles

The reptilian suborder Serpentes was previously known as Ophidia, a term derived from ophis, Greek for 'snake'. 

Authors' Note:  'Leapin' Lizards' was a classic idiom used to express surprise, long before it was suspected that birds had evolved from reptiles!

Nature-lovers , academic herpetologists, wordplay enthusiasts, wildlife photographers, Giorgio's relatives, and just everyday folks have united in their demand for more verses on this topic!

So, please follow this link!

GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR WEB-EXPLORERS: 

To resume your review of the sequence of daily titillations on our related blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense", click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings at the bottom of the page, and check the daily offerings for any month from the start of 2020 through the summer of 2026. 

As of March, 2026, there are 2,000 unique entries available on the daily blog, displaying individual poems (often illustrated) and wordplay, but also with some photo-collages and parody song-lyrics. 

Most of these key elements of our work are assembled here on "Edifying Nonsense" in topic-based collections.

The "Daily" format, a formidable mix of genres has the advantage of including song-lyrics, videos and other material that are not shown here on this topic-based blog.

FEB 10, 2025: FOLIO6, True-and-Faux Photos: PORTRAITS of COUPLES, #6 [6]

CURRENT CONTENTS (folio#6 -- February 10, 2025)
llamas 
loons 
mallard ducks
mounted police 
mute swans
pelicans

 

We know that you are itching to review more of this photo-portfolio. So, you can do just that by clicking the 7th group HERE.

 

FEB 5, 2025: Spineless Verse, OTHER INVERTEBRATES [6]

Re Arthropods (invertebrates): 

We had hived off verses about INSECTS, the most prevalent spineless creatures, and that poetic endeavour is gathered in separate blogposts that you can get into HERE. So, follow the links, and enjoy. 

But there were lots of leftover interactions with various other groups of arthropods that you can read about in today's post. As usual, the illustrative photos were taken, unless otherwise specified, on Giorgio's i-phone-7 camera. The verses and supportive notes are derived from poems submitted to and edited on the collaborative humour-dictionary site, OEDILF (the Omnificent English Dictionary in Limerick Form). 

CURRENT CONTENTS:

Centipedes

California mussels

Dew worms

Gastropods (slugs and snails)

Chelipods

Ghost crabs

 

RELATED VERSE:

Authors' Note: Intestinal parasites belonging to the phylum Nematoda are transmitted primarily through contaminated soil; they include members of these worm-families that produce systemic human disease: roundworms, whipworms, hookworms. A related group, the threadworms, cause disease primarily among pets.

GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR WEB-EXPLORERS: To resume your review of the sequence of daily titillations on our related blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense", click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings at the bottom of the page, and check the daily offerings for any month from the start of 2020 until July 2025. 

As of July 20, 2025, there are 2,000 unique entries available on the daily blog, displaying individual poems (often illustrated) and wordplay, but also with some photo-collages and parody song-lyrics. 

Most of the key elements, such as this one, are also assembled here on "Edifying Nonsense" in topic-based collections.

The "Daily" format, a formidable mix of genres, also has the advantage of including song-lyrics, videos and other material that are not shown here on this topic-based blog.