Saturday 10 September 2022


Beaver Tales
Inspector Clouseau
When I'm cleaning windows
More to follow


Authors' Note: Director Robert Altman had initially requested music for a single scene in the 1970 movie M*A*S*H; in keeping with the plot, this was to be "the stupidest song ever written". Having difficulty in completing the lyricist's task himself, Altman called on his 14-year-old son, who presumably finished the job in a few minutes. The music for "Suicide is Painless" went on to become highly popular as the principal theme for the movie and the TV series; the lyrics are not widely known, but earned the junior Altman large sums in royalties.

Authors' Note: This verse is a fantasy derived from my favorite gag in the Pink Panther films, which highlight exploits from the career of Inspector Jacques Clouseau
  The bumbling Inspector has major troubles in checking into hotels wherever he goes. Many scenes are set in Paris, where everyone speaks perfect English except the protagonist. Beset by a thick French accent, he has difficulty making himself understood, as when he negotiates with a hotel clerk to rent a "r~rheume" (room).

Authors' Note: Perhaps the best-known song by British singer, actor, comedian and ukulele artist George Formby, Jr. (1904–1961) was "When I'm Cleaning Windows." The song appeared in the 1936 film Keep Your Seats, Please. Initially banned by the BBC, the song was later revealed to be a favorite of the royal family. 

online photo as displayed in "Ukulele Magazine"
In his films, Formby portrayed a good-natured but incompetent little man from rural county Lancaster, with songs interspersed throughout in which Formby (his character "laced with shy ordinariness") sings, accompanying himself on ukulele or banjo. Apparently, the Beatles, particularly George Harrison, were influenced by Formby and his ukulele performances. 

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