SATIRE COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2018. The involved verses have also been web-published at OEDILF.com, an online humour dictionary that has accumulated over 110,000 carefully edited limericks.
CURRENT CONTENTS
Colonoscopist
Dermatologist (retiring)
Diabetologist
Doctors Without Borders
Endocrinologist
Ex-Hospital Chief
Lecturing Internist
Lifelong Learning
Authors' Note:
prep: medical jargon for preparatory measures needed before surgery or complex testing
The general public is aware of the importance of colonoscopy for screening in early colon cancer. Colonoscopy also plays an important role in the diagnosis, treatment and followup of symptomatic colonic problems, including isolated polyps, diffuse polyposis of several kinds, colitis and gastrointestinal bleeding. Your colonoscopist is likely to be a surgeon, less commonly an internist, trained in gastrointestinal diseases and in the technical aspects of flexible fiberoptic endoscopy.
Authors' Note: Dermatology is reputed to be a rather routine and phlegmatic area of medical practice. That view may not be entirely irrational; however, you may be glad that you and your family doctor can consult with these specialists should you be faced with a life- or lifestyle-threatening disorder such as pemphigus, mycosis fungoides, psoriatic arthropathy or melanoma.
Authors' Note:
diabetologist: a super-specialized endocrinologist who deals with diabetes mellitus and its control
Glycated hemoglobin (hemoglobin A1C), reflects a chemical influence of ambient glucose levels in blood. This simple but subtle alteration of hemoglobin carried by the blood's red cells was discovered in 1958. As the average lifespan of red cells in the blood is three to four months, the biochemical test of blood levels yields a number that reflects blood sugar control over the previous few months. Generally, as your diabetologist will explain, a value less than 7% has been found to reflect good control.
(mayd-SEHn sahn frohn-TYAYR)
Authors' Note: A small group of French doctors and journalists, in the wake of the horrific Biafran famine in 1971, founded Médecins Sans Frontières (occasionally for English speakers translated as Doctors Without Borders). Designed to deal with humanitarian crises in the developing world in regions beseiged by overt war, armed internal conflicts, epidemics and natural disasters, the charity has repeatedly distinguished itself, winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1999. It currently operates in over seventy countries worldwide.
Authors' Note: 'Essential', an outdated-sounding modifier, is used to imply 'idiopathic', i.e. without known cause. There are some underlying risk factors, e.g. genetic disposition, and kidney disease, that may contribute, but well over 90% of hypertension is without a definable underyling cause. 'Essential hypertension' is a well-known (although archaic) term for your health-care provider, but is confusing and even counterintuitive for patients.
Authors' Note: The rapid pace of scientific and technical developments in the field of medicine makes ongoing education for physicians essential. Moreover, regulatory bodies, conscious of public perception, promulgate standards for current best practices. ‘Maintenance of competence’, recertification’ and ‘lifelong learning’ have become buzzwords.
The serendipitous discovery in 1989 of the use of sildenafil (eventually marketed by Pfizer in 1998 as Viagra, 'a little blue pill' for erectile dysfunction) ushered in an era in which post-graduate medical conferences often featured updates on this now-treatable common disorder. The putative distribution of drug samples to lecture attendees is apocryphal.
Readers who appreciate wordplay might also enjoy a posting entitled 'electile dysfunction' that can be found by clicking HERE.
Requests from many health professionals and layfolks as well have come to fruition; there is now a followup post continuing this theme that you can easily access by clicking HERE!
Here's a LIST OF LINKS to 20+ collections of informative poems (over 160 of these!) on medical/dental topics that were extracted from various far-flung posts, and now can be easily viewed.
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