Monday 10 February 2020

Nurse-Verse: PATIENTS and their MALADIES, part #1


Giorgio Coniglio (pseudonym); medicine
Coaster for a medical school reunion,
University of Toronto.

SATIRE COMPOSED: Dr.G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio, September 2018 (original posting February 2019). This group of terse verses has also been published at  


BPH (benign prostatic hypertrophy)
Brain symptoms (post-concussion)
Bypass grafts
Common cold
Conn's syndrome (aldoserone excess) 

Authors' Note: 
pas-de-deux: a term, originating in French, for a balletic performance with two dancers, often moving in unison

Amblyopia includes a number of conditions in which the single affected eye provides less useful information to the brain, resulting in suppression of that information in comparison to that from the more normal eye. Double vision or strabismus (crossed-eyes) from weakened eye muscles on the one side is a common cause. When strabismus is relatively minor, the persistence of two discordant images under certain conditions with resulting double vision, may be disconcerting to the adult patient. Reduced lighting, head position and fatigue may enhance the problem, but corrective prismatic lenses may help in reachieving integrated binocular vision.

Authors' Note:  Patients who have suffered a loss of sense of smell (anosmia) are known as anosmics. Rarely, this sensory disorder along with manifestations in other body functions can be attributed to a marked deficiency of dietary zinc. Whether zinc supplements can help with recovery in well-fed anosmics remains unresolved. The metallic element osmium, which has no known biologic role, is named for the stench emitted by its poisonous tetroxide derivative.

Authors' NoteArteriopath is common medical jargon for a patient with severe obstructions in the peripheral arteries. The cause of this condition is generally atherosclerosis, and the leading risk factor for its development is smoking.

Authors' Notes: 
-trophy: a Greek suffix, as in hypertrophy, atrophy or dystrophy, derived from trophe (nourishment)
trophy: a decorated cup or other prize, from the Greek root tropaion, a rout or victory.
  The author has had first-hand experience of these unpleasant symptoms. In fact, despite the comment in the verse, having BPH does not eliminate the chance of also having cancer. Consult your physician; they will likely do tests to ensure that cancer is not also present.

Authors' Note:  In American football, 'rushing' means running the ball after starting behind the line of scrimmage, not including forward passes. The play continues until the player carrying the ball, usually a backfielder, is tackled.

Authors' NoteStatins are drugs in frequent use for patients with arterial disease that reduce the body's manufacture of cholesterol. A small proportion of patients are intolerant of this class of oral medication, most commonly due to muscle cramps.

The most common site of symptomatic arterial blockage is the coronary arteries, which provide nutrient blood flow to the heart muscle. Surgical bypass grafting of multiple sites of obstruction is a common treatment for this disease. Following such surgery, patients such as Jack need to remain attentive to risk factors including dietary fats.

Authors' Note: Reducing interpersonal contact still provides the best defence against the common cold (coryza). 

Authors' Note:  High blood pressure (hypertension), most commonly has no definable cause. Rarely, there is a relatively fixed and excessive production of aldosterone, a hormone produced by the cortex of the adrenal glands to regulate the exchange of sodium and potassium in the kidney. The medical entity was known historically as Conn's syndrome. The abnormal hormone levels are due to an overgrowth of well-differentiated adrenal cells, resulting in either a small localized benign tumor, or to diffuse overgrowth of both glands.

The levels of blood pressure attained are relatively mild, and the local disorder of growth in the adrenal glands does not develop malignant transformation. Nonetheless, the disorder is best treated specifically, sometimes requiring adrenal surgery.

Requests from many health professionals and layfolks as well have come to fruition; there are now two followup posts continuing this theme that you can easily access. Click HERE for part #2. 

AND, HERE'S A LIST OF LINKS of collections of intriguing verses on other medical/dental topics that can now be found in collections on various posts including:

Patients and their Maladies (parts #1 #2 and #3)

If you want to resume daily titillations on our blog 'Daily Illustrated Nonsense', click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings in the righthand margin, and check the daily offerings for any month in the years 2020 through 2022. (There are now over 900 daily entries on the Daily blog, and most of these are also presented here on 'Edifying Nonsense' in topic-based collections.)



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