) MAY 25 (2026) singable satire: 'The PRATTLE of NEW ORLEANS'

 

MUSICAL UNDERPINNINGS: "The Battle of New Orleans" by Jimmy Driftwood, 1958, was one of many songs that interpreted historical events in a manner that appealed to young students. It became a popular cover by Johnny Horton in 1959, topping the charts in North American and even in the UK. 

The United States 1812-1815

PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, February, 2013. Giorgio's recounting of the historical events, and his attempt to set the record straight was posted on the parody -lyrics website "AmIRight" in 2013 as "The Prattle of New Orleans" .

UKULELE and GUITAR-FRIENDLY LINK: Our whole series of updated blog-posted satirical spoofs can now be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players on our sister blog "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" with chord-charts for both the parody and original song, as well as helpful performing suggestions. 

To find ukulele chord-charts to help you accompany "THE PRATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS" on your favorite instrument, click HERE. 

Jimmy Driftwood with 
his signature home-made guitar

the original recording

battle-site map

Andrew Jackson ("Old Hickory")
 leading troops to victory

THE PRATTLE OF NEW ORLEANS

(to the tune of "The Battle of New Orleans")

As a hist’ry buff, I thought that I should delve,

Into some stated details ‘bout the War of 1812.

’Cause before the BP oil-spill and the Storm they called Katrin’,

Was a diff’rent kind of battle near the Town of New Orleans.

Hup 2,3,4; Hup 2,3,4

I’d heard of Laura Secord, and the White House getting torched,

And a bit of British Caribbean forces getting zorched.

I checked it with my Southern spouse, her knowledge too was pale,

But we both knew Jimmy Driftwood’s folksy song could tell the tale.

We knew by heart the Johnny Horton version,

With the poor alligator that got used as cannon-bore:

It topped the charts over here as well as Britain,

Though it clearly smudged the history and magnified the lore.

Was Old Hick’ry drinkin’ buds with Jean Laffitte?

And why’d the British bring along so many drums to beat?

And who’d believe the dyin’ words of General Pakenham

Were “you better quit a-foolin’ with your cousin Uncle Sam”?

Did seasoned soldiers turn and do the rabbit-run,

When confronted with backwoodsmen who were firing squirrel-guns?

So I took a couple Beanos, then I snarfed on nacho-chips,

And I googled “Town of New Orleans and British fighting ships”.

 It seems…

The Brits had occupied the west bank Mississip’,

Fog lifted, they got blasted sneakin’ over in their ships,

More leaders killed and wounded as they tried to storm the Town,

So their troops were not a-runnin’, they just stood and got mowed down.

Weeks thence, per Wikiped’, in Feb’ 1815,

The English, reassembled, sailed out east from New Orleans,

They targeted more mischief ’long the coast of Alabam’

(In the hold the rum-soaked body of their Gen’ral Pakenham).

They left Mobile standing when the orders finally reached ’em,

“No territory changing, return to status quo”,

On Christmas Eve belligerents had penned the Ghent treaty,

So the Indies Fleet sailed home across the Gulf of Mexico.

Thus the War that began with maritime embargoes

Seemed a drawn-out pointless offshoot of Napoleonic woes;

If “agreed on as a triumph” on both sides of the border,

It’s the writing and the citing and the singing makes it so !

Hup 2,3,4 x2. Sound off 3,4 x2.....

These lyrics have been enhanced with ukulele chord suggestions, to a posting on our personal song-blog "Silly Songs and Satire".

) MAY 20 (2026) singable satire: 'RHYMING BINOMIALS' (part #1, A to L)

 

ORIGINAL SONG: "The Elements", Tom Lehrer, 1959.  

PARODY COMPOSED: Dr. G.H. and Giorgio Coniglio,  2015. This song is the fourth of nine in the series on Word-Pairs. You can find the links to the lyrics of the previous songs at the bottom of the post. Also, our prior exploration of this theme resulted in a lexicon of rhyming binomials on this site as displayed here.

UKULELE and GUITAR-FRIENDLY LINK: Our whole series of songs can be found in a friendly format for ukulele (and guitar)-players on our sister blog  "SILLY SONGS and SATIRE" with chord-charts and helpful performing suggestions. Click HERE to proceed to this site. 

Most binomial pairs are not rhyming

The inherent music of language is an important element in the toolkit of parodists. When all of this began, I used Tom Lehrer’s format to sing a nonsense-song about irreversible binomials. The current offering highlights pairs in which the 2 elements rhyme, e.g. ‘make or break'. Specific cases may border on cliché, but delight us with their musical quality. Sneak a peek!

There’s age and stage, bug in a rug, and amble — ramble, ants in pants
And agony and ecstasy, out and about, and ain’ts and shan’ts.
There’s bows and arrows, brake and take, more bounce to ounce, and box and cox
Bird is the word, and flock and herd, and claws and paws, cock of the walk.

There’s chips and dips, and chalk and talk, and cruising for a brui-uising
Yes! candy’s dandy (liquor’s quicker), — it’s your pick and choo-oosing.
And crime and grime, and croon a tune, and crumpled — rumpled, brush and broom,
Cat in the Hat, and Dancer — Prancer, dream and scheme, and doom and gloom.

Delicious and nutritious, dives and drive-ins, also eyes on prize,
And Dennis (Menace), flotsam — jetsam, fair and square, and Five Alive.
There’s gap and lap, and grip or slip, and gym and swim, Amazing Grace;
And shades of Hades, hurry — scurry, huff and puff, and haste makes waste.

The hostess with the mostest, hire and fire, high and dry, haircare
And high- and byways, health- and wealthy, height and weight, and here and there;
By hook or crook, and grope and hope, and hulk and skulk, and itch and scratch,
And hasten — chasten, hustle — bustle, hither — thither, hitch and hatch.

There’s kneel and squeal, and kitty litter, luck or pluck, and keen and mean
There’s loonie — twonie, life of strife, lock stock and barrel, lean cuisine.
The latest and the greatest, loot and booty, Mod Squad, lie and pry
And lotions — potions, ma-and-pa, and musty — dusty, my and thy.

Burns’ ‘Louse’ and ‘Mouse’*, and Looney-Tunes, and old cartoons with Mick and Minn
Or Huey, Dewey, Louie, while the cat is OUT and mice are IN.

There’s likely umpteen others, but so far I can’t imagine them
They’d spread across the alphabet from a-ardvark to zymogen.

* Robert Burns many famous poems include “To A Louse” and “To A Mouse”

Funny (rhyming) Canadian coins
— Loonie and Twonie

And, for those interested, here's how you find the lyrics-only-version

of the ten songs that make up this cycle. If you would like to  accompany yourself on ukulele or guitar, find relevant chord charts by following the links that will take you to the versions in our blog "Silly Songs and Satire". 

1. PAIRS, to the tune of "Words" in the style of the Beegees

...  the following songs in the style of "The Elements" by Tom Lehrer

2. ALLITERATIVE BINOMIALS, part#1

3. ALLITERATIVE BINOMIALS, part#2

4. RHYMING BINOMIALS, part#1

5. RHYMING BINOMIALS, part#2

6. A LESSON ABOUT REDUPLICATIONS

7. REDUPLICATIONS, part#1

8. REDUPLICATIONS, part#2

9. LEGALISTIC DOUBLETS, in the style of "Supercalifragilistic..." from  the musical "Mary Poppins"

MAY 15, 2026: poetic NON-SEQUITURS, fifth grouping [6]

 This blogpost is a continuation of 'POETIC NON-SEQUITURS, as posted on this blog May 15, 2022 (first grouping), May 15, 2023 (second grouping, May 15, 2024 (third grouping), and May 15, 2025 (fourth grouping).

previous poetic posts (Note that captions are available for poems displayed on "Daily Illustrated Nonsense" since 2024).

(first grouping): adolescence, almost Kosher, artistic weightlifting, bush plane, charity auction, close quarters.

(second grouping): cumulative songs, demolition, dishwasher, doggy bag, epistaxis, ESL. 

(third grouping): far-flung family, gavel (judge's), gifted children, greeting (Spanish), ground down, having the audacity.

(fourth grouping): hoggishly, horticultural, host and co-host, Hoyle,Edmond, latitude (changes), mallards at the swimming pool. 

CURRENT CONTENTS (fifth grouping)

Prodigious
Professor and Madman

Rebuttal
Secret life of plants
Talking heads
Victims of bullying

Authors' Note: "The Secret Life of Plants", 1973, was a controversial piece of 'non-fiction' that recounted controversial experiments that pointed to plant sentience and emotion. The book became the basis for a documentary film, and even inspired a music album by a well-known popular singer/musician in 1979. Considerable criticism arose from its then-trendy pseudoscientific claims based on non-replicable reports. Subsequently, aspects of how plants, including vegetable species, sense and react to environmental changes, have undergone more intense and sober investigation by academic botanists.

GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR WEB-EXPLORERS: 

To resume your review of the sequence of daily titillations on our related blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense", click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings at the bottom of the page, and check the daily offerings for any month from the start of 2020 through the summer of 2026. 

As of March, 2026, there are 2,000 unique entries available on the daily blog, displaying individual poems (often illustrated) and wordplay, but also with some photo-collages and parody song-lyrics. 

Most of these key elements of our work are assembled here on "Edifying Nonsense" in topic-based collections.

The "Daily" format, a formidable mix of genres has the advantage of including song-lyrics, videos and other material that are not shown here on this topic-based blog.

MAY 10, 2026: PLURALIA TANTUM, second group of items [3]

     This post is a continuation of a collection of verses about 'PLURALIA TANTUM', an element of advanced grammar, as introduced on this blog on May 10, 2025.

previous poetic posts

(items #1): ceremonial events, eruptions (rashes), cooking ingredients, condolences, backwoods.

CURRENT CONTENTS (second group of items):

High hopes

Moronics

Careers (3 verses, a 'brief saga')

Note that the three verses of this "brief saga" can be found in more readily legible format on the blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense"; click HERE. 

OVERLAPPING THEMES: 

GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR WEB-EXPLORERS: 

To resume your review of the sequence of daily titillations on our related blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense", click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings at the bottom of the page, and check the daily offerings for any month from the start of 2020 through the summer of 2026. 

As of March, 2026, there are 2,000 unique entries available on the daily blog, displaying individual poems (often illustrated) and wordplay, but also with some photo-collages and parody song-lyrics. 

Most of these key elements of our work are assembled here on "Edifying Nonsense" in topic-based collections.

The "Daily" format, a formidable mix of genres has the advantage of including song-lyrics, videos and other material that are not shown here on this topic-based blog.

MAY 5, 2026: FUNNY BONES, fragment #3 [6]

 

This blogpost represents continuation of earlier posts, entitled (not surprisingly) 'FUNNY BONES, fragment #1', (displayed on May 5, 2024), and  'FUNNY BONES, fragment #2', (displayed on May 5, 2025). 

prior posted poems

(fragment #1)
background reading: "The Orthopedic Surgeon", comminuted fracture, physiotherapy street, contortionists, Enid's osteopenia, heterotopic ossification.

(fragment #2)

fractured wrist (distal radius), scaphoid fracture, anatomic snuffbox, hook of the hamate, olecranon ('funny bone').

CURRENT CONTENTS: (fragment #3)

Metatarsal stress fracture

Jones (5th metatarsal) fracture

Lisfranc fracture

Pelvic fracture (banker's consultation)

Prosthetic hipster

AVN (avascular necrosis) of the hip

Authors' Note:  Stress fractures are injuries caused by repeated undue physical stress applied to normal bone. These injuries, sometimes called march fractures, are common in the midshafts of the bones of the forefoot, particularly metatarsals #2 through #4. They characteristically occur in military recruits and in athletic individuals with heavy training schedules, but also may show up in otherwise unremarkable individuals who have recently increased their level of physical activity. Fortunately, healing is usual in those prepared to reduce activities for a number of weeks.

    To read more about this important topic, check the online medical periodical Bone Bloggers: Opinion by Orthopedic Surgeons.

Authors' Note:  In fact, Syd has the right idea. Current therapy for the Jones fracture (which occurs due to repeated twisting stress in dancers and tennis or basketball players) includes surgical placement of a screw that binds the two fragments, to eliminate the possibility of bone non-union that complicated earlier forms of treatment. In cases where surgery is not selected, treatment usually consists of an external cast and avoidance of weight-bearing for six weeks. 

Authors' Note: 

crank: an unpleasant person who has difficulty with anger control

ORIF: acronym for surgical intervention for bone fractures — open reduction, internal fixation

plain films: medical jargon for two-dimensional x-ray studies, as opposed to CT, although digital media, not 'film' emulsion, are now generally used to analyze and record the images

With these injuries that involve one or more fractures, metatarsal bones of the lower foot are dissociated from the tarsus, making the mid-foot unstable. They were first observed in cavalry men during the Napoleonic Wars and later described by a French surgeon, Jacques Lisfranc de St-Martin. In English medical jargon they are known as Lisfranc (LIZ-frank or liz-FRANK) fractures. Self-diagnosis of this type of injury by a patient would be an unusual event

Authors' Note: 

 post op: medical jargon for 'post-operative' or 'post-operatively’.

   Costs incurred by surgical care in the United States can be devastating. It is, however, unusual for bankers to be consulted directly re the affordability of urgent surgical procedures. 

  Multiple pelvic fractures involving the sacrum and/or pubic rami may accompany major trauma to the lower trunk. These can often be managed conservatively, but instability may mandate surgical fixation.  

 

                                                                           

Authors' Note: Owing to impairment of blood flow, fracture of the femoral neck, a risk for active seniors, may result in the subsequent need for hip replacement. The most common cause for hip-joint replacement, however, remains osteoarthritis.

Authors' Note: The femoral head is the proximal portion of the femur (thigh bone) within the capsule of the hip joint. The blood supply to this area is fragile, and its blockage, presumably due to a variety of disease processes (often poorly understood or not obvious), can result in death of bone cells and collapse of this weight-bearing structure. In medical jargon, this process is known as "avascular necrosis". Replacement of the hip joint may eventually be needed. 

  Orthopedic surgeons (surgical bone specialists), known in medical jargon as orthopods, are involved in monitoring and treating the condition.  

GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR WEB-EXPLORERS: 

To resume your review of the sequence of daily titillations on our related blog "Daily Illustrated Nonsense", click HERE. Once you arrive, you can select your time frame of interest from the calendar-based listings at the bottom of the page, and check the daily offerings for any month from the start of 2020 through the summer of 2026. 

As of March, 2026, there are 2,000 unique entries available on the daily blog, displaying individual poems (often illustrated) and wordplay, but also with some photo-collages and parody song-lyrics. 

Most of these key elements of our work are assembled here on "Edifying Nonsense" in topic-based collections.

The "Daily" format, a formidable mix of genres has the advantage of including song-lyrics, videos and other material that are not shown here on this topic-based blog.